Body Language Communication is:
38% Voice Tonality
55% Body Language
Overall, women are far more observant than men as to understanding ones true meaning when a statement has been made. This has given rise to what is commonly referred to as “women’s intuition.” Women have an innate talent in being able to pick up and decipher nonverbal signals, as well as having an accurate eye for the small details.
Female intuition is more apparent in women who’ve raised babies. For the first few years, a mother has to rely almost solely on the nonverbal means of communication with her child. This is why women are often more perceptive negotiators then men, because they have learned to read body signals and gestures.
Women have between fourteen to sixteen areas of the brain to evaluate other peoples behavior, versus man who only use four to six areas. It explains why, from a woman’s perspective, men don’t seem to talk much and, from a man’s standpoint, women never seem to shut up.
The female brain is organized from multi – tasking. The average woman can juggle between two and four unrelated tasks all at the same time.
Do not make the mistake of interpreting one solitary body gesture in isolation of all other gestures of circumstances.
Like our spoken language, body language has word sentences and punctuations. Each gesture is like a single word. One word may have several different meanings under different contexts. Gestures come in “sentences” called “clusters” and invariably reveal the truth about a person’s feelings or their attitude.
A body language cluster, just like a verbal sentence, needs at least three words in it before you can accurately define each of the words and understand the meaning.
So always look at gesture clusters for a correct reading in understanding body language. There are more connections between the brain and the hands then between any other body part of the body.
Meeting someone for the first time
We meet someone new; a man will check out a woman’s hair, legs, body shape, and overall presentation. A woman; looks at a man’s hair length, clothes design, and coordination, the creases in his trousers, and the shine on his shoes.
The solution to the first meeting is to shake hands and give her a two to three second time frame of uninterrupted glancing for her to complete the process of looking you over. Look down at something giving her time to check you out. Not only can this feel better for the salesperson who use this strategy, it adds up to a better outcome in the sales process.
When someone begins to open up to being truthful, they will likely expose all or part of their palms to the other person. Like most body – language signals, this is a completely unconscious body gesture.
Throughout history, the open Palm has been associated with truth, honesty, allegiance, and submission.
Salespeople are taught that if they initiate a handshake with a customer, whom they call on unannounced or uninvited, it can produce a negative result, as the consumer may not want to welcome them, and feels pressed into shaking hands. A small head- nod will suffice as a greeting.
Women who initiate a firm handshake or rated – in most places – as more open minded.
If you are a woman in business, a wise strategy is to give notice to others that you intend to shake hands so as not to catch them off guard. Hold your hand out as early as possible to give clear notification of your intent to shake hands. The Double– Hander handshake is like a mini hug, and is acceptable only in circumstances where a hug could also be expected.
Touching a person with your left hand while shaking hands with your right-hand can create a powerful result. Touching someone likely on the elbow for no longer than 3 seconds and inquired about a key piece of information can produce up to three times the chance of getting what you want to hear. Touching someone on the elbow for more than three seconds, creates a momentary bond between two people.
When you next meet someone you wish to shake hands with, extend your left arm, give a light touch on their elbow or place it on their hand as you shake, repeat their name to confirm that you heard it correctly, and watch their reaction.
Smiling is a submission signal. When a smile is genuine, the fleshy part of the eye between the eyebrows and the eyelid – the eye cover fold – moves downwards and the ends of the eyebrows dip slightly.
Smiling tells the person you are in conversation with that you are nonthreatening and asks them to accept you on a personal level.
Regular smiling is importing to have part of your body – language repertoire, even when you don’t feel like it, because smiling directly influences other people’s attitude and how they respond to you.
A liars smiles comes more quickly than a genuine smile, and is held much longer, almost as if the liar is wearing a mask. When liars lie, the left side of the smile is usually more prevalent than the right side.
The tight – lipped smile communicates, “I’ve got a secret and you’ve got to try and guess what the secret is.”
The twisted smile can only be done deliberately, which means it can send only one message – sarcasm.
Arm Barrier Signal
Hiding behind a barrier is a normal response we’ve learned at an early age to protect ourselves. As children, we hide behind solid objects whenever we found ourselves in a threatening situation. Then by the age of about six, when it was unacceptable behavior to hide behind solid objects, we learned to fold our arms tightly across our chest whenever a threatening situation arose.
By folding one or both arms across the chest, a barrier is formed that is an unconscious effort to block out what we perceive as a threat, or an undesirable situation.
One thing is for certain: when a person has a nervous, negative, or defensive attitude, it’s very likely they will fold their arms firmly on his or her chest, showing that they feel threatened. When you fold your arms, your credibility dramatically reduces. When a listener folds his or her arms, not only do they have negative thoughts about the speaker, but they are also paying less attention to what’s being said.
Some people claim that they habitually cross their arms because it’s comfortable. Any gesture will feel comfortable when you have the corresponding attitude, this is, if you have a negative defensive, or a nervous attitude, folding your arms will feel comfortable.
Remember that with all body language, the meaning of the message is also in the receiver as well as the sender. Avoid crossing your arms under any circumstances unless your intention is to show others you don’t want to participate.
Women tend to keep their arms more open when they are around men they find attractive, they are more likely to fold their arms across their breasts around aggressive or unattractive men.
When arms are crossed in front of the chest a good salesperson knows that an “icebreaker” is needed to move their audience into a more receptive position that will change their attitude from negative to positive.
When you see someone take the arm – cross position, it’s reasonable to assume that you may have said something with which they disagree.
A simple but effective way of breaking the crossed- arm – barrier is to hand the listener something to for them to hold, on give them something to do. Give them a brochure or something else for them to hold onto, to get their body into a more open positive and therefore a more open minded position.
You could also lean forward with your palms up and say, “I can see you have a question… What would you like to know?” or “What’s your opinion?” Then leaned back to indicate it’s their turn to speak.
By using your palms, you nonverbally tell them that you would like them to be open and honest with you, because that’s what you’re being.
The ability to read body language allows you to “see” a negative discussion before it is verbalized and gives you time to take an alternative course of action.
Research results concluded that 91 percent of the participants in a study, lied regularly both at home and at work. As we mature, the hand – to – face lying gesture becomes quicker and less obvious than when we were a child. But still occur, when someone’s lying. These gestures are also associated with doubt, uncertainty, or exaggeration.
When someone uses a hand – to – face gesture, it doesn’t always mean he or she is lying. It doesn’t indicate, however that the person could be holding back information and further observation of other gesture clusters can confirm or deny your suspicions. It’s important that you avoid interpreting a single hand – two – face gesture in isolation.
The face is used more than any other part of the body to cover up lies.
When going to try to conceal a lie, or certain thoughts flashes into our mind, it can be shown for a split second on our face. We usually interpret someone’s quick nose touch as an itch or, that when they rest their hands on their face they are deeply interested in what we are saying, without ever suspecting that where boring them to death.
During the lie, the subconscious mind sends out nervous energy which appears as a gesture that can contradict what was said.
It’s obvious then, that to be able to lie successfully, you need to have your body hidden or out of sight.
Extended Blinking is an unconscious attempt by the person’s brain to block you from their sight because they’ve become bored or disinterested or feel they’re superior to you. Their eyes remain closed as the person momentarily removes you from his mind. Superior types may also tilt their head back to give a “long look”, known as “looking down one’s nose,” this is also done by a person who feels that there importance is not being noticed.
When you come to the end of your sales presentation and ask the person to give an opinion, the evaluation gesture (closed hand resting on the chin or cheek) will usually stop, and the chain stroking gesture begins. The chain stroking is the signal that the listener is going through the decision making process. Evaluating what you just presented to them.
When you ask the listener for their decision and they start chain stroking, the next gesture will signal whether their decision is negative or positive. Stay quiet a wait and watch. For example, if the chain stroking is followed by crossed arms or legs and they lean back, it’s fair to say the answer is no. This gives you an early opportunity to re-sell the benefits before they have time to verbalize the word “No” or give a negative response. If the chain stroking is followed by leaning forward with arms open or picking up your product, chances are you have a “yes” and you can proceed with the sale.
Research shows that of the information relayed to the brain in a visual presentations, 83 percent comes via the eyes 11 percent via the ears, and 6 percent through the other senses.
Research results found that the retention of verbal presentations was only 10 percent. With a verbal presentation it requires frequent repetition of key points to be effective. By comparison, the retention rate of combined verbal and visual presentations is 50 percent. This means you will achieve a 400 percent increase in efficiency through the use of visual aids.
Like most animals, each human has his or hers own personal portable “air bubble” which he carries around with them wherever they go. The size dependent on the density of the population in the place where they grew up. Personal space is therefore culturally determined. But as a guide, keep your distance between eighteen inches and forty-eight inches.
The “Readiness” gesture
A person takes the hands – on – hips pose which communicates that a person is ready for assertive action.
Hands – on – hips makes you look bigger and more noticeable, because you take up more space. Hands – on – hips is regularly used by both men and women to draw attention to themselves.
What body Angles Say
The speaker who takes a strong attitude to his listener while stand and face them directly which is perceived as an aggressive gesture. The speaker who delivers exactly the same message that points his body away from the listener is seen as confident and bold –but not as aggressive.
To avoid being seen as aggressive, stand with our body angled about forty-five degrees to each other during the friendly encounter to form an angle of ninety-degrees. To accept someone into your intimate zone, adjust the body angle to 0° and allow the other person to enter your personal space.
Research shows that men fear attack from the front and are more wary of a frontal approach, while women fear attack from behind and are weary of approaches from the rear. So never stand directly in front of a male you have just met.
Ownership, territory, and height signals
An easy way to intimidate someone is to lean again, sit on, or use their possessions without permission.
A salesperson calling on a customer at their home should ask, “which chair is yours?” Before he sits down, because sitting in the wrong chair intimidates the owner and puts him offside.
Studies reveal that there is further convincing evidence that you definitely don’t get a second chance to make a first impression, and that your approach, handshake, and overall body language are the key factors in deciding the outcome.
Research now shows convincingly that if you change your body language you can change many things about your approach to life. You can alter your mood before going out, you can feel more confidence at work, become more likable and being more persuasive and convincing.
When you change your body language you interact differently with people around you and they, in turn, will respond differently to you.